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March 30, 2010
It's going to be just fine
Jamie and her friend K have been planning a playdate for weeks. Jamie asked a couple times, and when I didn't jump fast enough, she brought home her friend's phone number (and sent ours home with K). K's mom emailed me, but the days didn't work, and then there was Spring Break and grandparents and stuff and finally we've gotten our shit together and we've got a date.
Jamie will be going to K's house, which is only a few blocks away. Her mom has offered to just pick Jamie up at school with K, letting me know that she has an extra booster seat. She's asked about food allergies and issues, if a snack is ok, and how the school wants us to handle the change in transportation. Jamie and K were in Kindergarten together, I've talked to her mom on the phone and through email several times, and we've met in person, although we haven't exchanged more than pleasantries. K and her dad were recently here for Jamie's birthday party. I'm totally comfortable with this.
And then this afternoon, it occurred to me that I've never been to their house. It didn't even cross my mind until I was arranging for Jamie to ride to their house. And I can't even peek in the door, since I won't be taking her.
The thing is, I'm pretty sure this not checking thing makes me a bad mom. I mean, for all I know they do lines of coke on the coffee table and have a gun propped by the door. I should probably be going with her for at least part of this first date. Maybe I should be asking some deep, it-shouldn't-offend-you-cause-I'm-just-looking-out-for-my-kid questions.
My gut, though, is not concerned. I'm confident that I'm sending her to normal, safe house for an afternoon of fun. I am feeling a little guilty and weird, but it's because I haven't met the gold standard of parenting. And then I worry that I'm just justifying my laziness and fear of offending someone by claiming that I'm having faith in humanity and my instincts. I'm worried that K's mom will think I'm not a good mother because I didn't background check her before sending my kid off with her.
And then I think, just let go already.
Posted by me at March 30, 2010 4:01 PM
Comments
I'm going with the, "just let go already" vote. You are way over thinking this :) and I say trust your gut.
Posted by: Bec at March 31, 2010 3:32 PM
Yeah, I let it go. And then she woke up at 4am puking. I broke another cherry instead! (But I'm not going to mention it online, for fear of CPS :)
Posted by: Becky 
at March 31, 2010 4:13 PM
Yeah, I let it go. And then she woke up at 4am puking. I broke another cherry instead! (But I'm not going to mention it online, for fear of CPS :)
Posted by: Becky at March 31, 2010 4:15 PM