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July 7, 2008
The N word
I have some friends who make jokes using the n word. They aren't *really* racist, in the sense that they are happy to have friends of all colors, but they are overly amused by the stereotypes and totally willing to perpetuate them.
I, on the other hand, consider the n word a bad word, like shit or fuck or damn. Actually, it's worse, because while the usual curse words might offend someone's sensabilities, the n word is insulting to someone's sense of self. You aren't just releasing anger with a poor verbal substitute for expressive language, you're using a word that denigrates an entire race.
Now the thing is, I never use that word. Ever. And I don't let people (ok, I'll say it, family) use it in front of my kids. They may say other things that I consider inappropriate, but I draw the line at racist jokes. But when my friends, who I mostly talk to online, start yukking it up, I say nothing. I never participate, but I don't think I've ever told them to stop, either.
How bad of a person does that make me? My sense of guilt tells me that I should stand up for my beliefs, but logic tells me that I'm just going to be ostracized by the aquaintances and mocked by my friends. I don't mind the mocking, myself, we do it to each other in fun all the time. I guess I just can't see what the benefit of saying something will be. They know it's wrong. They aren't going to stop.
I guess what it really comes down to is this: Is their attitude a friendship dealbreaker for me?
Typing this out has pretty much given me the answer: They won't get past a surface friendship with me. My best friends and I have differences, but less important ones, at least to me. I'm not proud that I'm not more forceful standing up for my beliefs, but it's also hard for me to cut someone out of my life (and I've known these people for many years) based on something so common, even if it is contrary to a core belief of mine.
Man, the more I type, the more I feel like a wish washy spineless suck-up.
Posted by me at July 7, 2008 10:22 AM