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June 30, 2008

High maintenance

Owen is going through this (it goddamn well better be a) phase where he's getting up two or three times a night. If that's not bad enough, on occasion he decides to not so much go right back to sleep. The word we're looking for is ung.

Have I mentioned the part where I get one nap out of him per day where he isn't being firmly held? That one glorious nap he will take laying on the bed only lasts about 30 minutes, but it's the most glorious part of my day. It's probably also the only 30 minutes during the whole day where NO ONE IS TOUCHING ME. I usually use that time to shower, and in spite of my desire to be good to the environment and conserve water and yada yada yada, sometimes I spend a good five minutes just standing there, enjoying the lack of touching.

All this to say, I'm a little tapped out these days. I spend all day long toting Owen's lily white butt around, and when Rex comes home and takes him for a few minutes, I actually wander around sort of aimlessly, trying to figure out what I should do with myself. Finish installing blinds? Laundry? Dishes? Pee? My brain is fried, I can barely speak in complete sentences, and I almost fell asleep in the middle of reading to Jamie this afternoon.

I need a long long nap on a breezy, blue-watered beach.

Posted by me at 10:37 PM | Comments (0)

June 27, 2008

Risk for reward

This post over at Wonderland, got me thinking. I mean, I've thought about our kids being overprotected before, from slapping helmets on kids every time they approach speeds of two miles an hour to outlawing tag in schools for whatever ridiculous reason they came up with.

What made me think was the part where the author chose not to admonish her son to be careful on the uneven sidewalk. I'm sure in the same situation, I would have let my girls run. But I'm also sure I would have called out to be careful, as if they couldn't see the dangers themselves. I just wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut, wouldn't be able to not do anything I could to spare them pain (as if a warning like that really has any effect, aside from a prophetic one). She makes a good point, though, that not running would be more tragic, and more painful, lifelong, than a skinned knee.

It's so counterintuitive, but I think it's time to let go. It's time to let my kids get hurt.

Posted by me at 2:42 PM | Comments (0)

June 26, 2008

Link love

Stefanie from Baby on Bored linked to a blog called The Wind in Your Vagina written by Black Hockey Jesus. And I'm confused because this guy writes like a total loon, but I keep going back to it. There are imaginary people, ghosts and he never refers to his wife by the same name twice. He is irreverant and offensive and the post he wrote for Father's Day made me cry. In a good way, not like when my kids make me cry.

Go read him.

Posted by me at 9:32 PM | Comments (1)

June 25, 2008

Full of surprises

This week hasn't exactly gone as planned.

It started Monday. Rex takes the girls to TKD, so I try to feed them dinner a little early so they aren't working out on full stomachs. I got fancy and made Mandajuice's roasted cauliflower and chicken cordon bleu that we got from one of those sells-meat-in-a-truck guys. We've had the chicken before, and while it wasn't great, it was edible and we needed to use it. I don't know what happened to it this time. I had the oven a little hotter than the directions called for, but the chicken still wasn't done in the prescribed amount of time, so we went ahead and ate the cauliflower. I pulled the chicken out and couldn't tell if it was done by looking at it and poking it, so I checked it with a thermometer. Done. Finally. I cut it open and watery juice spurted out. It stunk. And the chicken was GREY. It was a soggy breaded, grey ringed blob with a tuft of pink ham in the center.

I threw it out.

Then I got the rest of them out of the freezer and threw them out.

Then I cooked a second dinner. We gave up on TKD, which was fine, since it was test week and Rex had been planning to take the girls on an off night, anyway.

Tuesday started out great. Then I decided to try to put Owen down, instead of holding him through his nap all afternoon. That's where things went south. For the majority of the next three hours, he screamed. He screeched, fought, drooled, yelled and occasionally teased me with a smile. He fell asleep on the way to Rex's office, where I was going to drop off the girls so they could go to the TKD test. That's where the real weird started. As soon as Katie got in Rex's car, her face started to crumple. Just when I thought we had her calmed, she started to bawl outright. Fine, I'll take her home with me. That's when Jamie started to cry. FINE. They can skip the workout and just go for the test.

That's where things picked back up for me, cause I got Chick-Fil-A. I love that place. Sad, I know. Of course, Katie had to pee as soon as we sat down, but I was holding the baby, the get-out-of-potty-free card. Good thing, too, because she didn't go. Then she said she had to go again, but she had already wet her uniform. Kid is weird, she wets just enough to make some room, and then holds it some more. Three times she tried while we were there, and she never went. Well, except for in her pants.

Both girls happily went with Rex after dinner, even though Katie couldn't participate anymore because she wasn't in her uniform. Apparently, they were angels. Then they came home, and Jamie stood on this old chair that was mine when I was a kid. I'm not sure how many times I've told her not to stand on it in the last week, but enough that I sent her to bed without a story. Of course, she had to cry about that. And then she had to tell me she felt sick. She's been lying about that a lot lately.

Today went much better than I predicted, based on a late night with, as usual, no sleeping in. The girls spent hours entertaining themselves with a bucket of change and a couple stools. I didn't ask.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Posted by me at 9:18 PM | Comments (0)

June 23, 2008

Twoo wuv

Today is our 7th wedding anniversary, and I'm sure I'm supposed to be writing some super sappy post about how much I adore my husband, that I love him more every day, blah blah blah. I rarely even think of up and leaving him, so I guess we're doing ok.

Last year after Mother's Day, I was really pissed at Rex. I wasn't particularly happy with life either, and I actually thought about leaving him. I started listing all the reasons I was pissed off, all the things he did wrong. But then I turned it around, and tried to think of ways my life would be better without him in it.

I couldn't think of a single one.

I love you, babe. And I still can't think of anything better than being with you.

Posted by me at 10:09 PM | Comments (1)

Liquid gold

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I pumped milk in the hopes that Owen would take a bottle as easily as he took a pacifier. No such luck. He wouldn't take it hungry or full, from me or Rex or the girls. I finally put it in a bowl, and even the damn cats won't drink it. Apparently, I'm the only one who understands the value of hand pumped milk.

Posted by me at 7:56 AM | Comments (0)

June 22, 2008

No pool for you!

We went to a pool party yesterday for Jamie's "best friend's" birthday. There were quite a few kids there, all under the age of six. There were also quite a few parents there, mostly the moms, sitting around talking, and a couple of the dads. In the maybe two hours the kids were swimming, there were three rescues, the last one being Katie. That party pretty much signed the death warrant on us getting a pool until the kids are entering teenhood.

Posted by me at 9:13 PM | Comments (0)

June 21, 2008

Friday

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Posted by me at 8:47 AM | Comments (0)

June 20, 2008

And when the hell did I forget how to smile?

That tweet this morning about losing my shit? I had no idea.

My meltdown was a combination of days of holding Owen with no relief, lack of sleep from his unusual nighttime habits, and yet another screaming fit that seemed to have no reason and no solution. It was just too much. I was trying to figure out who I could call to come help me, just for a few minutes, to entertain my poor daughters who have been so good and so neglected, to hold Owen for just a few minutes so I could *not* hold him and still not hear him scream. And I realized there was no one closer than 250 miles that I knew well enough to see me in the state I was in.

And then I cried harder. Cried because I feel so isolated and alone. Because apparently there's only one person in this town that I consider a good friend, and he was in California. Because I was completely incoherent, and not a single creature in the house even noticed.

I need to make some friends around here, and I know it. But aside from the fact that it's something I'm just not good at, calling people I don't know well to set up, uh, something, it's also something that takes time. There are a few women in this neighborhood that may someday be great friends, but I haven't known them long enough to know them well. We're still in the dating stage, where I don't reveal my true self for fear of alienating every woman withing spitting distance of our house. When do I let loose with the atheism and the computer addiction and the animal science degree that required activities that viewed the wrong way are illegal in some states? When do I let them know that I'm an oversharer, and reveal that I no longer have any hobbies or joys or personality, but I used to be loud and sarcastic and opinionated and obnoxious and I had FUN?

Posted by me at 9:11 PM | Comments (3)

June 19, 2008

Ready

Today was a fairly good day with the kids, but I'm still totally ready for Rex to come home. Owen just generally requires a lot of hands on time, and I need for him to be held by someone else for five minutes or so.


I have a few posts in my head that aren't dull recreations of my day. Unfortunately, between Owen tying up my arms and a ridiculously full hard drive, I haven't had the time to put them together. Also, it would help if I could at the very least think in complete sentences. It would make writing them just that much easier.

Posted by me at 10:22 PM | Comments (0)

Thursday

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Posted by me at 10:20 PM | Comments (0)

June 18, 2008

Pooped, but not pooped on

I'm watching Jon & Kate, Plus 8, and I'm totally feeling grateful that I only have three kids. Lordy, that's a lot of toddlers.

I let the girls put on makeup tonight. They had a freaking blast! I put some lipstick, eyeshadow, blush and powder on them first, and then I let them go for it. Half an hour later, after about 50 applications of lipstick/gloss, I asked if they were done. The answer was a resounding NO! I don't know how they managed, but they put on a couple more layers of lip gloss before I took a few pictures and stuffed them in the shower. I told Jamie I though it would be a week before all the glitter in the shimmer powder wore off, and she's thrilled.

I put some makeup on too, for the first time in...I have no idea how long it's been. I may have applied gloss last year when we went to a wedding. Maybe. At this month's lady's night (Is that how the apostrophes go? I have a tenuous hold on those things when there's just one, I don't know what happens when they stack.), one of the women gave out some samples of May Kay. I think I applied the right products to the right places, but since I've never once applied eyeshadow and walked out of the house wearing it, I'm not betting any money on it. I actually really like the lipstick. So much so that if I thought I would ever wear *any* lipstick, I would totally buy that color.

Oh, and anyone hanging on the edge of their seats: Katie didn't have any incidents today (I can't call them accidents anymore, I think she knows what's up at this point), and for the first time since Rex left, Owen hasn't shat through an outfit.

Posted by me at 10:42 PM | Comments (1)

Wednesday

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Posted by me at 10:40 PM | Comments (1)

June 17, 2008

Tuesday

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Posted by me at 10:57 PM | Comments (0)

This is where I vent

I was looking forward to writing a well thought out and potentially amusing post, but since I've now put Owen to sleep for the fourth time tonight, all I have left in me are bullets.

Posted by me at 10:54 PM | Comments (0)

June 16, 2008

Sisterly love

So these bunk beds we got the girls? The verdict is still out on whether they were a good idea. They certainly love the things. A little too much. I can't even count the number of times Rex or I have had to go up there and tell them to stop climbing the headboard (Katie, to pull things off the wall, or see Jamie), stop talking, get back in bed, stop passing stuffed animals back and forth and GO TO SLEEP.

Even though we have this huge house, we thought there were some important lessons for the girls to learn from sharing a room. Sharing, compromise, comradarie, how to fight and how to make up - all lessons that will serve them well throughout their lives. Of course, learning those lessons isn't going to come without some stress, on their parts and on ours. For them, it's a lack of alone time and later privacy, and learning to fight fair. For us, it's dealing with bickering and fights when they don't agree, and letting them have some bonding time after lights out that often leads to out and out play.

We tried giving them a few minutes each night to talk after we put them to bed. We would give them a time on the clock to talk until, and then they were supposed to be quiet. And for a while, that worked out fine. Then we would have to yell up to them that time was up. After that, someone would have to go up there. We called it quits when one of us would have to go lay the smack down two and three times a night before they either went to sleep or got smart enough and quiet enough to avoid detection.

Rex has threatened taking the beds apart if they can't go to bed quietly. I'm against that, since I spent months shopping for and agonizing over getting just the right quality and style of furniture. I may have been wrong about bunks being a good idea (and no, I'm not dumb enough that I didn't see some of the pitfalls. We had some of these problems when they were on mattresses on the floor, it's not all a bunk issue), but dammit, we're going to stick with them.

Posted by me at 10:27 PM | Comments (0)

Monday

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Bonus:

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Posted by me at 9:44 PM | Comments (0)

June 15, 2008

I want more of these

Friday night was one of those perfect summer evenings. After dinner, we cleaned up the kitchen, and then the girls went out in the back yard to play. Rex and I got to sit on the patio and talk while the girls dug in the sandbox and kicked a ball around. It was relaxed, it was low key, and I think the only way it could have been better was if we had some friends and a glass of wine join us. I almost hated to call the girls in and end the night.

Posted by me at 9:51 PM | Comments (0)

Sunday

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Posted by me at 9:50 PM | Comments (0)

June 13, 2008

Happy boy

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Posted by me at 10:21 PM | Comments (0)

And tomorrow, he'll leave for college

For some stupid reason, it took me two and a half months to figure out that when Owen fusses, just a little, he's tired. Snuggle him into my left arm, shove a pacifier in his mouth and he's out in two minutes or less. You would think, by the third kid, I would have gotten a clue just a little bit sooner.

On the other hand, he changes every day. It's been at least a week since he figured out that he can stuff his own hands in his mouth. He sucks and chews on his hands, my hands, my arm, my shoulder...you get the point. I'm expecting to see teeth any day now, and yet horribly aware that this teething thing can go on for months before you see a pearly white. When he's not screaming, he smiles all the time. He slept 9 hours straight last night, but didn't nap more than an hour at a time all day. He prefers to sleep only in someone's arms during the day, but sleeps all night beside the bed. He's given up putting himself to sleep on the floor while life goes on around him. He gets pissed when I turn my face away from him, but spent 20 minutes happily staring at Katie while I made dinner.

He is beautiful and sweet and snuggly.

Posted by me at 8:46 PM | Comments (0)

I better watch every word I say

So that story that goes with the Candy Land game? Jamie read it. Except she didn't read it, she memorized it. In the dozen or so times Rex and I have read it to her, she's memorized it so well I had to watch her "read" it to know she wasn't really reading.

Posted by me at 8:36 PM | Comments (0)

June 12, 2008

But a good one.

For not having anything to do, this has been a busy week.

Tuesday I got to go to another girl's night here in the neighborhood. I met a couple new women and got to talk to some that I met last month. This time I didn't have to leave early, and Owen doesn't eat until the wee hours of the morning, so I had two guilt-free tasty beverages and loads of conversation with ADULTS.

Wednesday, the kids were all angels. Owen was unscreamy in a way I haven't experienced in weeks. Jamie and Katie were agreeable, nearly tantrum free, and they put a hold on their eternal bickering. We even went to Kohl's and returned and shopped and they were still good. I don't know if I was just more patient since I had a night off and they reacted to it or if it was a fluke. Maybe a should have a few beverages every night for a week to test the theory.

Today is my birthday. Owen decided I should celebrate for extra hours, so he was up a little after 5. Even though he mostly went back to sleep, his presence in the bed kept me half awake for the rest of the morning. I put a movie in for the kids in the hopes of catching a wee nap. Katie was obviously, and Jamie was making noises about not feeling well, so I thought I might get all three kids to nap and I could doze. Turns out Jamie was lying about not feeling well, and spent most of the other kids' nap time squealing, "Look at me! Look at me!" I know the poor kid is a bit neglected, but she's also a huge attention whore. When Rex got home, we went out to dinner and then split TWO desserts. Yummy yum yum.

Maybe that's the key: Finish every day with a tasty beverage and a fancy dessert.

Posted by me at 9:07 PM | Comments (1)

June 9, 2008

Damn the wind!

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Posted by me at 10:07 PM | Comments (0)

It's floating away on the wind

We were officially out of the rental house on the first, but the final utility bills have been coming in this past week. I'm also waiting for the refund of our deposit, but I think they have at least 30 days before they have to send it back. I'm guessing they'll be keeping my money every single day they are legally entitled to it. Le sigh.

I'm actually surprised that we've already gotten all of the utility bills already. I guess I never paid attention to when they cycled. Anyway, gas bill - check. Water bill - refund of deposit minus exorbitant fee for zero usage - check! Electric bill - Holy shit! the bill for the house we aren't living in is higher than the one we *are* living in! I have no idea what happened. I don't know if a realtor changed the settings on the A/C, or if we let them set wrong or what, but the bill was WAY more than the month before. I'm pissed, and I want to fight it, but I'm pretty sure I don't have a leg to stand on. Hell, I don't even know what was left running. In the end, I paid the bill and decided to be happy that we're back to paying for a single abode.

I think I may be finally learning to just let it go.

Posted by me at 9:37 PM | Comments (0)

Sometimes

Sometimes when I'm holding Owen up against my shoulder, he hooks one arm around my neck and the other around my shoulder. And even though I know it's totally unintentional, it feels just like a hug.

A sweet, wonderful hug.

Posted by me at 12:06 AM | Comments (0)

June 8, 2008

Baby girl

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Posted by me at 10:59 PM | Comments (0)

June 7, 2008

*censored*

I have something I desperately want to blog about, but I can't. It would ruin my kid's if anyone they knew ever read about it, and I just can't take the chance.

I really really want to write about it though, both for advice, and for it's sheer comic value.

Posted by me at 10:26 PM | Comments (0)

June 4, 2008

Before she realized I was taking pictures

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Posted by me at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)

Scary cool

So most nights, when Owen is feeling the love, he falls asleep a little after 8, and we either hold him until we go to bed, or we stick him on the floor and he actually stays asleep. Wen we go to bed, usually around 10:30 or 11, I wake him up and feed him, hoping for maximum sleepage before he wakes me up for his one (usually) nighttime feeding.

Last night, Rex went to bed a while before me. I stayed up to sew a button back onto a pair of his shorts. How 50's housewife of me, right? Anyway, Owen had been sleeping on his chest, so when he went to bed, he put Owen in his bed. When I went in there half an hour later, I was tired and just didn't feel like getting Owen up. Of course, five minutes after I turned out the light, he started wiggling and snorting, and I thought for sure that his 11 o'clock snack habit was waking him up.

Next thing I knew, it was 3am, and Owen was dead silent. I poked my head in the Pack'n'Play and heard nothing. As much as I know better than to wake a sleeping baby, I put a hand on him. Every times he sleeps extra hours or unexpected times, I'm just sure something has happened. After all, I know better than to put a baby to sleep on his stomach. I know it increases the risk of SIDS. And even though I know the risks are slim, I'm sure that this time my luck has run out. Never mind that Katie was the same way, refusing to sleep on her back. Never mind that she turned out just fine. In a lot of ways, I become a more relaxed and better parent with each baby. In the middle of the night, though, I still sometimes feel this crushing weight of fear on my chest.

Of course as soon as I touched him, he moved just enough to let me know he was alive. He slept another two hours and woke up at pretty much his usual time. After he ate, he went back to sleep until 7:30. Makes me wonder how much more sleep I could be getting if I just shook things up a little every now and then. It also makes me wish he would roll back to front so I could stop being so paranoid.

Posted by me at 9:44 PM | Comments (0)

June 3, 2008

Shovel vs toe

I'm pretty sure when I was a kid, my dad had a rule about wearing sneakers or boot when you used a shovel. I know that rule applied to lawn mowing, horse and bike riding, and dirtbikes.

My dad's been wrong about a lot of things in my life, but this wasn't one of those things.

We have this super heavy duty sandbox that my mom made for Jamie when we were living in Maryland. We thought our move to Houston was going to be permanent, so we went to the trouble to pry the thing out of the ground at my dad's and hauled it to Texas. You have no idea how heavy this sandbox is. It takes two people to move it, and even then it's a strain. Oh, and that's not including the lid!

Once we moved the thing to Texas, we were obligated to take it with us wherever we went. In hindsight, we should have left the thing in Maryland, where the girls would still have had plenty of time to play in it. Of course, we had no idea how many moves we had left.

Now that we're settled(!) again, it's time to dig that baby back into the dirt. We've finally agreed on where it should go, and so I took advantage of one of Owen's happy days and a cool morning. I got out the shovel and started to cut the sod. Well, I tried, anyway. Apparently the sod did not want to be cut. I was stomping and stomping on the damn shovel, and getting absolutely nowhere. And then I somehow missed, and kicked the top edge of the thing.

Did I mention I was wearing sandals?

Yeah. I managed to not teach the girls any new words, and I only screamed just a tiny little bit. Not even enough to bother Owen, who seems to be sensitive to the crying of others. I'm pretty sure I broke the toe next to the little one. No roast beef, and now this. It's a nice shade of purple today.

You were right, Dad.

Posted by me at 9:12 PM | Comments (0)

June 2, 2008

Now we're gonna be RICH

As of yesterday, our lease at our last house has ended. After this last round of utility bills, we'll be officially only supporting ONE household! Whatever will we do with all that extra money?

Oh, yeah, save it for property taxes.

And diapers. My we tiny baby is out of size 1 Pampers. Every time he outgrows a size, I get sad that I'll never use that size again. You'd think I'd be happy to see the end of my diaper days approaching, but I'm just sad that my wee baby is getting closer to angry preschooler, and I'm never going to have a baby again.

On the upside, every day brings him closer to being a real boy, instead of just a blob. Owen was a smiling FOOL today! Head control rules.

Bittersweet.

Posted by me at 10:20 PM | Comments (1)

White trash noun (1): Taking your baby to Sonic for ice cream, naked, after a diaper blowout

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Posted by me at 9:29 PM | Comments (0)