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June 22, 2007
Crying all the way to the bank
I've been procrastinating calling my mom all week. Not because I don't want to talk to her, but because I have an etiquette question that I don't want to ask or have answered.
As I've said, my grandfather's health is in decline. The question of when is narrowing more and more each time I talk to them. I recently received a letter from my mom with a check, and instructions to deposit it as soon as possible, because if my grandfather dies it becomes void. My grandfather is having a last minute screw-Uncle-Sam moment, and decided to disburse some cash to his grandkids early to avoid some estate taxes.
Receiving the money makes me feel sad and guilty. I'm getting this cash because my grandfather is dying. I probably woldn't be getting it now for any other reason. And while I know I can't do anything to make him healthier or live longer, it still seems wrong to be getting this big gift of death. The guilt comes along because it's hard not to appreciate cash for what it is. At least I know my grandparents would understand. I didn't get my love of money from just anyone.
My question for my mother: Do you write a thank you note for what is basically an advance on an inheritance? (Her answer: To treat this as a normal cash gift, and write the thank you. Of course, when I called, I found out he's back in the hospital. The cancer isn't that advanced yet, but the sum of his ailments and procedures is taking it's toll. I'm hoping now that he'll make it until we visit in July.)
Posted by me at June 22, 2007 10:12 PM