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December 31, 2006

My brown eyed girl

Posted by me at 8:58 PM | Comments (0)

Because writing a rent check isn't enough of a kick in the groin

For some reason, we decided we needed to get out of the apartment today, so we drove to Houston to camp in the house. We had a pleasant enough drive, a nice walk around the neighborhood, dinner at the Cheesecake Factory where we actually managed to squeeze in dessert, and now the girls are talking it up in a tent in the living room.

The house is still in great shape. I brought stuff to vacuum and clean, figuring there might be rings in the toilet or dead bugs around, but I think all I'm really going to have to do is vacuum away the traces of us sleeping on the floor. We pulled the dead tomato, pumpkin and zinnia plants and I think the neighbor will lend us his mower to take down the tall patches of grass, but even the yard is looking swell.

Kinda makes me wish we lived here.

Posted by me at 8:50 PM | Comments (0)

December 30, 2006

Let me explain. No, wait, let me sum up

I haven't posted too much lately, even though I promised myself I was going to be better about it. Blame it on Christmas!

Let me see if I can sum up:

• My dad came for 8 days. It was like having a third parent around. He's so good with my kids, he makes me feel totally inadequate, but I would agree to let him live with us full-time in a heartbeat if I thought he'd move to Texas.
• Christmas happened. We managed to keep the number of gifts under control, but the size of the gifts is killing me. It would figure the year of the giant toys is also the year of the tiny apartment.
• Rex and I spent two nights and a day away. By away, I mean about 20 minutes from here in a hotel. We spent most of the time in bed watching endless tv and reading. We managed to get out and see a movie, but that was about it.
• I had some major weird stomach pain. It was the worst the first day, but then took about a week to get back to mostly normal. I'm not sure if I should blame it on the Pei Wei, but regardless I won't be ordering Mongolian beef anytime soon. I had barely any appetite for most of the week, and I think I may have lost all of a pound.
• On the morning of the 26th, I eradicated Christmas from the apartment.
• My dad rearranged the entire garage and added a chair from the living room. There is enough room for my van plus some. I am in awe.
• My dad left. Later that day, I got back to being insane.

Posted by me at 9:27 PM | Comments (0)

December 28, 2006

Family reflections

Posted by me at 8:51 PM | Comments (0)

December 24, 2006

Whispered

"I'm not supposed to tell you that we got [deleted] for Daddy."

Posted by me at 2:49 PM | Comments (0)

December 18, 2006

The state of the house

Last Saturday, our realtor finally held an open house. Not a single person came by. Not a surprise, since we haven't had a single showing in a month, now.

Not long after we put our house on the market, we had several showings. Our realtor mentioned when she listed us that the market seemed to be having a nice pop of activity, but that she figured it would slow down as it got closer to the holidays. She was right. So what I don't understand is why she didn't do the open house right away (like our neighbor did, and got 8? people through her house). I'm annoyed, and if our house is still on the market when her contract is up, we'll be moving on.

Unless I just move back in myself.

Posted by me at 9:05 PM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2006

Next year they can have shots of whipping cream

My grandparents, along with my aunt and uncle, were in town yesterday. We spent a couple hours chit-chatting while the girls napped, and then a while more watching them play after they woke up. Jamie warmed up to them very quickly, I'm sure she remembers them quite well. Katie, well, she was happy to hug them goodbye. My grandfather has a hard time keeping his hands off of Katie, even though it totally freaks her out. He managed to hold off until after dinner, at which point she started crying and climbed back into my lap.

I thought for sure she'd give in when he tried bribing the girls with and half shooters. I wish I had pictures of them holding the little creamer cups and throwing them back!

Posted by me at 3:39 PM | Comments (0)

December 16, 2006

She said she learned it on tv, but I can't place the line

"This steak is too juicy for words!"

Posted by me at 9:41 PM | Comments (0)

Showing authori-tay

Posted by me at 3:05 PM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2006

What the hell were they thinking?

This was one of the poorest choices of marketing ever. The toy is so annoying I'm going to have to avoid McDonald's at least until they stop giving out these things, and possibly longer in protest. The sound it makes is like the adult equivalent to that Mosquito noisemaker used to disperse teens.

Posted by me at 3:44 PM | Comments (0)

The Crane

Posted by me at 3:03 PM | Comments (0)

December 13, 2006

I should at least get a free cruise for this

I saw a segment on the Norovirus this morning. The news keeps telling us when it attacks cruise ship loads of people, but apparently it's much more common on land. It's terribly contagious, and causes stomach flu symptoms.

Apparently, it's so contagious Jamie got it through the tv.

I don't know if that's what she really has, but she had a headache before her nap, actually slept, thought she was gonna puke a couple times and then finally did around 5.

My stomach is feeling odd, but I don't know if it's just the power of suggestion or an actual issue.

Let's hope it was an isolated incident.

Posted by me at 10:40 PM | Comments (0)

December 12, 2006

But I still want to go home

I'm almost sad that NaBloPoMo is over. It gave me great motivation to post regularly, and while I thought that was going to carry on, it only lasted a few days. And, it's really putting a crimp in my blog reading.

What a letdown.

Anyway, not much going on. Still trying to make our square belongings fit into a round apartment. Trying to keep up with all the pictures I've been taking on my new camera. Not doing a good job of posting pics here (or getting them off the camera on a timely manner).

And Christmas, holy bejeebus. I haven't bought anything at all. I finally got a book of pictures put together that we'll give to each of the grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles, but they may not get here in time to give for Christmas, and surely not in time to mail to the distant relatives.

Mentally, I've been doing better. A lot better. I had one more brief episode of hopelessness, but it was counterbalanced by two episdes of serene patience with Jamie. I'm not sure the last time I had one of those.

Even better (actually, not better. The mental thing is the best.) the weather has been beautiful the last couple days, and is expected to stay that way for at least a week. Exploring our new habitat is much nicer when we can get out and enjoy it.

Posted by me at 9:04 PM | Comments (0)

December 8, 2006

At least I'll make my Christmas budget

"What would Katie like for Christmas?"

"A shirt."

"What would you like?"

"Socks"

It bears mentioning that this is the second time she's asked for socks. And that she already has plenty. Maybe it's time to get funky socks, instead of the Old Navy basic white.

Posted by me at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)

December 3, 2006

Actually getting something done

Things we did this weekend:

• Bought, set up and decorated our Christmas tree.


• Sorted through (but haven't uploaded) October's and November's pictures.


• Took our Christmas card picture, and got them printed at Sam's.


• Realized that I didn't order enough pictures when I went through my list of names. Or stamps. We have too many family members for our own good.


• Sorted through some of Jamie's old clothes to figure out what I have for Katie.


• Spent a bunch of time on the phone with T-Mobile.


• Accidentally did some house hunting. We were just cruising through a couple neighborhoods, and got hooked up with a realtor. Saw another house, then spent some time touring a builder's models and talking money. Came home and the realtor we ran in to had already sent a HUGE list of houses to sort through. Spent some time doing that.


• Listened to Frosty the Freaking Snowman about 100 times.


• Felt much better.

Posted by me at 9:47 PM | Comments (2)

December 2, 2006

I could have gone another year without her learning to open doors. Or getting up on that box.

Posted by me at 8:53 PM | Comments (0)

December 1, 2006

Craphole, sweet craphole

Posted by me at 9:35 PM | Comments (0)

Brutally honest

I haven't been completely honest in this blog.

Part of the reason for that is that I don't want to say things that will hurt my husband (or his family). Part of the reason is that my husband reads this blog, and I don't feel I should tell him through my blog things that I can't seem to say to his face. And part of the reason is that I think there are some things that I need to get said, but they don't necessarily need to be heard, at least not by the world.

I've gotten so desperate for help, though, that I've started talking to anyone who will listen, even though most of them aren't in any position to help. My friends are too far away to do more than listen as I cry. My mother may have been right telling me I need to talk to a professional, but the way she said it has left me feeling bitchy toward her. My dad does what he can over the phone, even offering to verbally beat some sense into my husband.

My husband, well, he doesn't get it. Last night when I told him I would have left yesterday if the roads hadn't been icy, he said exactly nothing, and was asleep in 5 minutes. Not exactly the help and concern I was going for.

Don't get me wrong, my husband is a great guy. He puts up with a lot from me. But right now, I'm floundering. In the I'm-not-going-to-make-it-without-help kind of way. Professional help. And possibly drugs.

All of this is even harder to admit, because I always thought I was strong. That I could get through anything. That drugs were for those other people. You know, the ones who can't even hack real life. I have no idea what a therapist could possibly do for me, aside from cost me more money and make my life even more difficult and stressful, since I'll have to figure out what to do with the kids. They have to have some purpose, though, right? Right?

Now that I'm finally ready to get some help, I'm having to wait for our insurance to kick in. Yesterday was bad. Today is so much better that I'm starting to think I'll be ok again. But not so good that I don't think I need help before I end up in a puddle of angry, hopeless tears again.

Posted by me at 9:10 PM | Comments (1)