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November 16, 2006
If I were smart, I would just hit delete after I vent. NaBloPoMo makes you do some stupid shit
My children are driving me batshit today.
They drive me a little closer to the brink every day, but today I think I might slip over. Jamie's incessant whining and inability to STOP TALKING if she doesn't receive the answer she wants are going to earn her a lot of time in her room, where it's harder for me to get to her. I just don't understand why she can't stop talking, even when I threaten (and follow through. I'm the queen of following through) nasty consequences. Of course, I don't understand why she keeps asking over and over and over again when I've already told her no when I NEVER GIVE IN.
Katie was up at 5:30 this morning. I KNOW she's tired, but she's refusing to fall asleep. Jamie screeching about not wanting to take a rest isn't helping, but it's not the real problem, either. I don't know what the real problem is. *** Ahh, that helped. I went and sat with her for a while, and now she's out like a light.
Pampers sent me Jamie's 44 month milestone email. I'm not sure why they're still sending it, since I haven't bought diapers for her in nearly a year. This month they talked about crybabies, and how some kids are more sensitive than others.
They are often the newborns who startle easily, have difficulty adjusting to bright lights, or seem very sensitive to the texture of clothing and diapers.That wasn't Jamie as a baby, not even close. Even now, she doesn't cry over the things you would expect, but will bust into tears over stuff that's so trivial you can't even believe she noticed it. And what causes tears one day just blows over the next.
I'm over my initial frustration, now that the kids are both quiet and I've done some venting. But my anger is always so close to the surface these days that it doesn't take much to set me off. Maybe Jamie's problem is that she's just too much like me, we're both on short fuses. I didn't used to be like this, though. Before I had kids, I was a little high strung, but not nearly this volatile. After Jamie was born, I had infinite patience with her, always, until she turned about 18 months. I think that's about when her crying started, and it's also when we moved to Maryland and was early in my pregnancy with Katie.
I care less about the trigger and more about the solution. Maybe I should go talk to a professional. I'm certainly doing a shitty job of fixing myself on my own.
Posted by me at November 16, 2006 12:12 PM