« April 2006 | Main | June 2006 »

May 30, 2006

All she needs is a little bling

Posted by me at 11:05 PM | Comments (2)

Where I reveal way more about my innards than you would prefer

I made about a gallon of spaghetti sauce this afternoon. Sadly, we had frozen pizza for dinner, since it wasn't done in time. At least we'll get a nice homecooked meal tomorrow night.

I attended the Annual Hooha Poking Festival today. Nothing beats the feeling of sitting naked for an hour and a half, wondering if they've forgotten you. I thought about sticking my head out of my frigid little room to be sure they knew I was still there, but I'm not quite brave enough to be the half naked chick wandering the doctor's office. I did eventually get what I came for: an uninterrupted reading of a two month old People (Oscar issue!), thyroid bloodwork, a prescription for birth control pills, and confirmation that all my girl parts are functioning correctly, in spite of a year long absence of the crimson tide.

Was that enough personal info for ya?

By the time the PA came in, I was blue from the cold. And while I enjoyed my "Mine!" free time, I actually needed to be back home to finish watching the neighbor's kid and my own, since the dad's were supposed to be working. Luckily, the kids had worn each other out this morning, and spent most of the afternoon getting their sleep on.

I think I'll follow their example.

Posted by me at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)

May 29, 2006

You'd cry too

Posted by me at 10:59 PM | Comments (0)

When I was little, I wanted 100 kids

I'm behind again.

I have some great excuses. We had a giant party here on Saturday. Giant for us, anyway. About 15 adults and 12 kids. That's a lot of kids! Some of our friends stayed over, so we spent a good part of Sunday with them, and then started the process of putting the house back together.

Rex will be home this week, so hopefully I'll have time to get into a groove.

Posted by me at 10:45 PM | Comments (0)

May 26, 2006

Sometimes a rockstar has to bring her own spotlight

Posted by me at 8:10 PM | Comments (1)

May 25, 2006

I wouldn't piss them off if I were you

Posted by me at 8:05 PM | Comments (0)

May 24, 2006

Next thing you know, I'll find out she worked her way through college stripping

My mind is slowly imploding, and I'm writing a record of it for all the world to read. Cry for help, or plea for attention?

More like I just need a place for my brain to vomit.

My mom admitted something to me today, while I was running around the house trying to get far enough away from screaming children to hear her.

She used to hit things to avoid beating us. You know, to blow off steam.

That is totally not the picture I had of my mother. She was never a physical person. I don't think I'd ever seen her sweat, until she took up swimming and then biking when I was a teen.

It might be time to set up a heavy bag in the garage.

Posted by me at 9:00 PM | Comments (1)

Obviously abused

Posted by me at 8:03 PM | Comments (0)

May 23, 2006

I can't help it, her expression just makes me giggle

Lest you worry, he caught her. Her face never even went under :)

Posted by me at 11:34 PM | Comments (0)

I've cleaned excretions from every orifice today, but that wasn't the bad part

I had a perky happy post roughed out for today, but I'm not in a perky happy place.

Jamie's crying and whining has brought me to a point where I'd be willing to spank her, but I'm afraid once I start I won't be able to stop. I'm that fed up.

As a sample of the earth-shattering incidents that brought her to tears today:

• I gave Katie half of my keys to play with in the car. She dropped them between the carseats, but where they were easy to see and reach.


• She and Katie were playing with a ball while I was showering. Katie didn't roll it back in a timely manner.


• Jamie was playing with her barrette last night. She said she was going to play with it more this morning, and she did. I asked her to give me the barrette so I could put it in her hair, she did, I did, she lost it because she wanted to play with it more. (Normally, she would be crying because it wasn't in her hair, and her hair was in her face while she was trying to eat.)

Add the whining, and my ears are practically bleeding. Some temporary deafness would also save me from Katie's ear-piercing shrieks when anyone/Jamie tries to take anything from her. Or gets close to something she wants. Oh, and she cries every time I get near my laptop. Apparently she knows what her competition is.

I don't know how to fight Jamie's crying anymore. I know whining is part of the program, and even a certain amount of the crying. I can often get her to suck it up and stop crying with threats, but I don't like threatening her constantly. Sending her to her room makes her screech like the demons of hell are exorcising themselves from her body, which is fine, because obviously I'd prefer she not be filled with demons. Hasn't decreased the frequency or length of the fits, though. I guess the demons just keep coming back.

Maybe I should go Costanza for a week, and just do the opposite. The results can't be any worse, can they?

Posted by me at 10:37 PM | Comments (0)

May 22, 2006

Yard weed

Posted by me at 10:37 PM | Comments (0)

May 21, 2006

I can't wait til they ask her about her body parts in preschool

First she was dancing around saying, "I'm naked, I'm naked!"

Then she started rubbing her chest, muttering, "These are my boobies."

So I guess it was inevitable that she started pinching her nipples and exclaiming, "Nipples! These are my nipples, Mama!"

Posted by me at 9:47 PM | Comments (0)

Help! My face is melting!

Posted by me at 9:47 PM | Comments (1)

May 20, 2006

Preparing for the flood

Posted by me at 11:39 PM | Comments (0)

Yesterday's Bad Mommy Moment

I lost Jamie at the mall yesterday.

Even worse, I didn't know she was lost until she was found.

We spent the morning running errands in the shopping centers around the mall. I had one or two things to do in the mall itself, and the natives were getting restless, so we went to the food court for lunch and then wandered to the germ tree for some play time. For once, Katie was cooperating and riding in the stroller, so I sent Jamie into the play area and walked just past the entrance to the gumball machines for a little sweet treat.

I sat down right at the entrance to the play area and unstrapped Katie. I stood her up and pointed her toward the fun, so she immediately turned around so she could climb on the stoller. Like we couldn't have done that at home. Whatever.

I heard some kid crying and started looking around for Jamie. I was pretty sure she was behind a tree stump, but I couldn't move far enough to actually see her without letting go of the stroller that Katie was leaning on. I did look at the faces of the parents over by the tree, and none of them wore expressions that indicated there was a crying child near them. I shoved my foot under the wheel of the stroller and sat back down.

Next thing I know, a woman is carrying a distraught Jamie toward me, coming from the gumball machines. Did I mention I was sitting right beside the only exit to the play area? Apparently she ran past looking for me at the same time I was bending over wrangling Katie.

Luckily, Jamie got over her fright in a couple minutes and went back to playing and trying not to get run down by the older kids. I sat there feeling like an idiot, not so much for losing my kid, but for not even realizing it. I *knew* I should make visual contact with Jamie, but the kid takes sticking around to extremes, so it never occurred to me that she would have left the play area.

Lesson learned.

Posted by me at 11:07 PM | Comments (1)

May 19, 2006

Pools rule

Posted by me at 4:37 PM | Comments (0)

Even I don't want to be around me

This post is really making me think. It makes me sad for what I've lost. Hopeful that I might be able to get some of me back. Ashamed that I've let *me* slip away over the years. I keep thinking of that line in Hope Floats - "You used to be so audacious!" I was audacious, once.

I was never the cool kid, never in the popular crowd. But within my own pack I tended toward the center of attention rather than just following along. My current view of the old me is that I was funny, not afraid to be silly, not a rebel but I broke a few rules here and there. Most of my friends were boys. I loved to read, rode horses without fear or concern. I liked to drive my Toyota Tercel to it's upper limits. My friends never showed up at my house without Reese's Pieces or Smartfood Popcorn, not because I asked them to, but because they knew how much I adored it. We wrestled and played, and a good part of the time I beat up the guys. I could be giddy and drunk without a drop of alcohol. I was afraid of looking stupid, so I never danced in public. I was smart. I was unhappy with my body, but didn't do anything in the way of diet or exercise until college, when I took it too far.

I've lost so much of that. I may be less afraid to dance in public (a little), but it's been replaced by an all-consuming fear of ruining my kids by not being the perfect parent. Not that I'm anywhere close to perfect, so I'm also consumed with guilt. I'm rarely silly. I have a really hard time breaking any rules, especially the ones I've set up for my kids. I take myself so seriously, as though laughing is going to bring about the end of the world. If I don't find some of my old self soon, my kids are going to remember me as a crabby, uptight dictator who sucked the fun right out of their lives.

How do I get me back?

I try to add a bit of silly into every day. I'm not always successful. I try to say no less to Jamie, and go places she wants to go, places where I won't feel the need to enforce rules the whole time. I'm trying not to take her tantrums personally and reacting to them by being a bitch back. I'm trying to come up with a hobby that I find fun and fulfilling.

Every now and then I feel like I'm succeeding. Most of the time I feel stuck. Most of the time, I can't remember who I wanted to become.

Posted by me at 3:45 PM | Comments (1)

May 9, 2006

From the center of the hurricane

I'm still here.

No, really.

It's been rather hectic here. Unpacking, birthday parties, family visiting and repairs on the house.

Let's start with unpacking. Most of the boxes have been emptied. A lot of the stuff has been put away and organized, although there are pockets of crap hiding around. The office is a total loss. Jamie still doesn't have any furniture, although we have gotten her a mattress so she isn't sleeping on the floor anymore. None of the nicknacks and gewgaws have been diplayed yet, and pictures and paintings are all stuffed away until I can figure out which walls need what.

Katie's turned 1 on Sunday. We had a big BBQ for family and close friends on Saturday. My dad flew down for a long weekend (only a week and a half after we left. He may be joining us here after all!) The party went pretty well, considering the lack of time and planning. I can't believe my baby isn't a baby any more!

And the house. The source of my pride and stress. You would think that when you buy a new house, there wouldn't be a lot of fixing up to do. Especially when you have an inspection done, hand the report to the builder and tell them to take care of all the issues.

You would be wrong.

They took a jackhammer to my shower today in order to replace the shower pan. They still haven't come back to paint the drywall patches from last week, so I can't move my furniture back against the walls. The list of crap wrong with the kitchen is slowly getting shorter, but my dad and I were laying on the floor upstairs and noticed that the ceiling looks like crap. The texturing was done poorly, on top of seams that weren't properlyfloated or sanded or something. The list goes on...

Our builder might do well to change their slogan: Wilshire Homes, [Re}Built Around You!

Posted by me at 11:09 PM | Comments (0)

May 1, 2006

Relo: Day 3

8:05 (mile 1094) We start out on the road again.

10:05 (mile 1237) Gas at Exit 10. Stupid pump is out of paper. I hope the IRS doesn't audit me. I nurse Katie in the parking lot of the Popeye's next door. Still feeling pretty trashy.

10:35 Back on the road.

10:50 (mile 1253) TEXAS!

11:25 (mile 1289) Jamie says she needs to poop. I pull over on the side of the road and get out the potty. Naturally, Jamie just pees, but at least it's more than just a few drops. As I'm packing everything back away, I notice I'm standing in a bed of fire ants, and they're already up my pants and biting my ankles. Welcome to fucking Texas.

I lost track of the time and mileage here for a little while. Between the ant bites and random ants I was still finding, the phone call to Rex to bitch, Jamie whining and Katie starting to cry, I missed a turn and got lost. I think I went about 15 miles out and then backtracked. I called Rex again, and must have sounded enough like I was going to lose it for him to stop and wait for us for lunch. After a not-so-great lunch at DQ (I've decided they should stick to desserts), I was feeling much better.

1:30 (mile 1360) We get back on the road.

2:00 (mile 1400) Katie sleeps. Jamie's not far behind.

3:30 After some confusion, I stop by Wendy's and pick up our keys.

4:00 (dammit, I forgot to get the final mileage! I think it was right around 1500) We're home!

Posted by me at 10:02 PM | Comments (0)

Relo: Night 2

The second night sucked less.

We were still up more than we needed to be, but at least it was just for brief get-Katie-back-to-sleep breaks. Oh, and Jamie slept with Rex, and pulled her all-over-the-bed-feet-in-his-face routine.

We were still up early. The time change from the day before didn't help any.

I'm so far behind posting this that I think I've already blocked it from my memory. What I do remember is that the carpet was *filthy*, but I didn't find that out until Jamie had been running around and her socks were all black. By that time, Katie had already been crawling all over the floor. I'm trying to forget that, and how much time we spent touching the quilts on the beds that I'm sure were a bacterial nightmare.

Posted by me at 10:02 PM | Comments (0)