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February 10, 2006
I hate when my head and my heart disagree
Well, we've decided to move back to Texas. For sure, no doubt, it's gonna happen.
I don't know when or where, but it's going to happen. I'm guessing in the next two months, but obviously I've been wrong before.
I can't wait, and I'm terrified. We need to pick a city - Houston, Austin or Dallas, and I'm afraid to pick the wrong one. Each has some very compelling attributes making it the top choice. We just have to decide which attributes are the highest priority and then go to the city that has the most and highest ones, right?
Ironically, Maryland has every one of the attributes, and yet it's not the right place for us. Which means that picking based on priorities isn't necessarily going to lead us to the right conclusion.
I'm so gun-shy now, since I'm the one who made the decision to try to come up here (with agreement from Rex, of course, but I was the one who pushed for it) and it turned out to be such a rousing success.
I try to keep in mind that if we move somewhere and hate it, we can always move again. Nothing has to be permanent unless we choose for it to be, although at some point being nomadic with kids gets a little ridiculous. I really want to be settled for the next 15 years by the time Jamie starts school, at the latest. I'm already concerned about how she's going to react to moving this time. This time, she's old enough to remember living with Grandpa (a great thing!) which means she's also old enough to miss him.
I think the only thing worse than not knowing what's going to happen is being the person who has to make the decision while at the same time feeling totally unqualified to make it. Of course, being in the position to make the decision is also the best thing about all this. After all, we're getting to choose our own fate to a large degree.
I'm going to need more chocolate.
Posted by me at February 10, 2006 9:54 AM