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February 3, 2006
Bad Mommy moment #827
Why do I resent the demands of my older daughter so much more than those of the baby?
The baby's needs are more constant, usually more draining. It's the baby that's keeping me up at night, tying me down during the day. Jamie rarely wakes me up in the middle of the night, and is always easily returned to sleep.
I always heard that when you decided to have a second child, you worried that you wouldn't love it as much as the first. I never really had that problem. Then, after the baby came along, I started worrying that I loved the new kid more than the first.
Maybe it's that the baby's needs are easier to meet. I *know* how to feed Katie, and I can tell when she's getting tired. I don't have to worry about stimulating her brain, she does that all on her own. Jamie is always asking, "Why?" and saying, "But..." I'm supposed to be teaching her how to do things, but it's just so much easier to get them done by myself. Katie isn't supposed to help with chores, so I have an excuse to do them while she occupied elsewhere. Jamie not only *should* be helping, she also *wants* to.
I don't have any answers, just a boatload of guilt. I *know* I'm doing this wrong, coming at it from the wrong direction, and I can't seem to turn it around. I can't...
I just can't.
Posted by me at February 3, 2006 11:07 PM
Comments
That boatload of guilt seems to pull into everyone`s port all the time. Why is that?
Posted by: L. at February 4, 2006 2:48 AM