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December 31, 2005

When she's a teenager, I'm going to use this picture as proof that she did know how to clean, once

Posted by me at 5:09 PM | Comments (0)

December 30, 2005

All about piss

Jamie pissed herself twice today, both times mid tantrum.

One of the cats pissed on her bed.

I'm pissed.

I'm hoping to hell Jamie is just overtired from a week without decent nappage and a totally wacky schedule. Today was not the best of days, potty training aside.

And the cat. This is like two days after one of them shit on Jamie's bed. I've never had a cat shit on a bed to diplay displeasure before. I'm assuming it's the same cat that occasionally pees around here. Well, it used to be occasional. If I were 100% sure which cat it was, I might have to do something about it, so I'm almost glad to have a little doubt. I haven't figured out why they pick her bed, since she rarely bothers the likely culprit. She knows he's a grouchy fatass.

I'm generally irritated by crying babies, cranky preschoolers and ungrateful pets. And I have very little control over any of them.

Posted by me at 7:03 PM | Comments (0)

Katezilla

Posted by me at 1:32 PM | Comments (0)

December 29, 2005

Amaryllis by morning

Posted by me at 10:56 AM | Comments (0)

Some mistakes can't be undone

I feel like about the worst mother in the world right now.

Katie is crawling, pulling up and cruising. A few days ago, she greeted me in her crib standing up. Now she seems to think that standing up in the crib is the thing to do, and it's made trying to get her to nap hell. Every time she wakes up at night, she stands. When I put her down for a nap, if she isn't out cold, she stands and screams. I've been going back in and nursing her back to sleep, but sometimes even that doesn't work too well, and besides, I can't do that forever.

Yesterday, I put her in the crib, told her I loved her and to have a nice nap and left. And listened to her sceram for over half an hour til she gave up.

Today, I put her in the crib asleep, but she woke up and eventually started the screaming. And she just. Kept. Screaming. I thought about going in there and laying her down, but in the past that just pisses her off and breaks my heart. I can't stand seeing her all teary and looking like I'm abandoning her. I finally went in and tried it, and within two minutes, she was silent.

Now I feel like absolute shit for not trying it 30 minutes sooner.

I know that as a parent I'm going to make mistakes. And I know half the time there isn't a right answer anyway. But how am I supposed to get over feeling like I just tortured my kid for half an hour because I didn't think it would work so I didn't try?

God, her face when I went in there.

I really don't think I was ever cut out for this.

Posted by me at 10:44 AM | Comments (1)

December 28, 2005

Life is just so fucking hard

Posted by me at 8:48 PM | Comments (0)

December 27, 2005

Central Pennsylvania *can* be beautiful in winter

Posted by me at 9:45 PM | Comments (0)

December 26, 2005

When the cats are away, Grandpa will...

Torture the kids?

"Grandpa puts Katie to bed. She cries and screams her head up!"

Posted by me at 11:12 PM | Comments (0)

December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas, Y'all!

Posted by me at 9:37 PM | Comments (0)

December 23, 2005

While I was taking pretty sunset pictures, Rex was trying to coerce one of the horses back into his pasture

Posted by me at 9:15 PM | Comments (0)

December 22, 2005

It was a nice break, until I returned to being me

For Christmas, my mom watched the girls for me and paid for a manicure and pedicure. She also paid to have my lip waxed, but I'm not going to hold that against her.

I've had acrylic nails put on before, but I've never had a pedicure or just a manicure. I say "just" a manicure, because when you get the acrylic nails put on, it's not the relaxing hand-massage-finger-rubbing I got today. They take a Dremel tool to your nails, coat you in plastic and noxious chemicals, Dremel some more, and then maybe paint you up. Don't get me wrong, I love me some fake nails, but it's not exactly a spa treatment.

Anyway, the mani/pedi was nice. The kidless time was nice. When I was done, I got to make a leisurely trip through the grocery store (I'm not being sarcastic. I actually like to grocery shop when I don't have to worry about Jamie's drunken carting or Katie barfing/screeching). I even got myself a huge cup of hot chocolate by the deli, and didn't feel a bit guilty, since I missed lunch. Of course, it was so hot that I had barely had a sip by the time I finished my stroll and headed to checkout.

And here's where things get messy. I set the cup down, and managed to knock it into the edge of the cart. The lid came off. Fifteen ounces of hot chocolate spilled down the cart and all over the floor. In the checkout line. In a place where people couldn't really get around me. I'm lucky I didn't get throttled by a holiday shopper. None of the checkers seemed to notice the horrific mess. I did manage to get a roll of paper towels out of one of them. It took at least half the rolls to clean things up. Then, as I was waiting for her to finish scanning, I managed to spill part of the remainder down my shirt. Apparently, I had the cup turned a bit sideways and missed the little hole in the lid. By now, I'm convinced that the kids really have sucked all the brains out of me.

I managed to get out of there without causing any more destruction, but the damage was done.

I was me again.

Posted by me at 10:00 PM | Comments (0)

Deafening silence

I guess I have my answer!

Posted by me at 9:26 PM | Comments (0)

On morning

"Oops, the dark went down!"

Posted by me at 7:24 AM | Comments (0)

December 21, 2005

*Tap*Tap* Is this thing on?

I'm falling behind. My goals was to write something here every day, with maybe weekends off. At the very least, I wanted to have a picture posted every day, hopefully even on weekends. I'm not sure if it's the holidays, the length of my non-holiday to-do list, lack of outside interaction or just sheer laziness. It's hard to worry too much about slacking when you figure no one is reading you anyway.

Drop me a comment if you're out there. While I wait, I'm going to write a post, and save it so I have something for you to read tomorrow :)

Posted by me at 9:10 PM | Comments (0)

It looked like she was doing the Cabbage Patch

Posted by me at 5:13 PM | Comments (0)

December 17, 2005

Tomorrow, I'm going to build a whole race of tiny little people

Posted by me at 5:02 PM | Comments (0)

December 16, 2005

She's electric! Boogey woogey woogey

Posted by me at 9:30 PM | Comments (0)

I just don't understand why people buy so many toys, when the real fun is in the packaging

Posted by me at 9:27 PM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2005

Do I sound Breezy?

For Christmas this year, my dad is taking care of selling my horse for me. This is a big help to me for two reasons. One, selling him would be a big pain in my ass. He has better contacts than I do, and won't stress about every penny like I will. Two, I haven't been able to sell Breezy in the last 10 years, I'm not sure I could make myself do it now. I hate the thought of him going somewhere where he might be neglected or mistreated.

He has to be sold, though, also for two reasons. We're moving back to Texas. I don't know when or where, but I know we're going. And I've grown up.

Earlier this year, he reared up on me, and flipped over backwards. As I fell, all I could think was he was going to land on me and break my back and how the hell was I going to keep up with two kids in a wheelchair? Then I was lying on the ground, hoping he didn't step on me as he scrambled to his feet. Finally, I tried to take stock of all my body parts to see which ones were broken. I was so incredibly lucky to walk away with barely a scratch, and nothing broken.

Breezy has always been spirited. He loves to run. When I was younger and used to ride regularly, we ran full out and we walked, but we rarely did anything in between. He was always calm when we walked, not hyper or twitchy like a lot of Thoroughbreds. He was so well behaved that I would take small children on him. I have a great picture of me cantering him through the yard with nothing more than a halter and a lead rope on.

I'm not a kid anymore. I have an obligation to my kids to not take unnecessary risks with my life and health. I don't have to give up everything, but there's no reason for me to own a horse that has the spunk and attitude Breezy has developed in the last few years of disciplinary neglect. If we were staying, I'd be better off with a horse that's less likely to break my neck. And so I need to sell him because I've grown up.

Posted by me at 10:00 PM | Comments (0)

Ooh, look at the pretty snow!

Posted by me at 9:49 PM | Comments (0)

December 13, 2005

First haircut

Posted by me at 8:49 PM | Comments (0)

December 8, 2005

She brings new meaning to "on the ball"

Posted by me at 9:46 PM | Comments (0)

I've been so goddamn careful about what I say

But when Jamie knocked some food off her plate and onto her chair, I knew exactly where she got it when she said, "Jesus crap!"

I hid behind her chair laughing silently for like 5 minutes. Even funnier than hearing those words coming out of her mouth is the fact that I've never used that exact expression. I use crap as a catch-all epithet, and Jesus when I'm pissed, but I have yet to put them together.

Posted by me at 9:35 PM | Comments (0)

I've become a spectator sport

"I could come here and watch you go potty every day."

Posted by me at 7:55 AM | Comments (0)

December 7, 2005

Tidbits

Have I mentioned how fucking much I hate the fucking cold?

Posted by me at 10:56 AM | Comments (0)

Sweep the snow, Cinderella!

Posted by me at 10:55 AM | Comments (0)

December 6, 2005

It's a little early for her to be making these lifestyle choices

Referring to her baby sister, who was leaning against my knees: "She's lookin' for something to eat right down 'tween your legs"

Posted by me at 9:38 PM | Comments (0)

Snowrise

Posted by me at 3:33 PM | Comments (0)

OK, maybe it wasn't just for a minute

I think I might be a little emotional. I just got teary at a Pamper's commercial.

I think selling the house has totally thrown me off. I really did think that it was never going to sell, and I had resigned myself, rather happily, to going back to that house in that neighborhood. It's hard to face the fact that we're homeless (although not without a place to live). When I picture us in a house again someday, I'm still picturing *that* house.

I actually wished for a minute today that we could back out of the deal now, but it's too late.

Posted by me at 3:09 PM | Comments (0)

December 5, 2005

I need to stop taking pictures while I drive

Posted by me at 10:15 PM | Comments (1)

The check's in the mail

Jamie brought me a book to read tonight. Barnyard Dance. It's one of the first books we got for her, a gift from my brother. Coincidentally, it's also the border I picked for her nursery. I busted my ass to get it, since it was discontinued. It took us several tries to put it up, and a lot of cursing. It made me cry to read that book, knowing that we don't own that house anymore. We'll likely never again see the room we lovingly prepared for our first child. The room where she learned to walk. The cat door she'd lose socks through. The patio where she learned to love playing naked in the water.

There are so many firsts in that house, Rex's, mine and Jamie's.

It's official. Our house has sold.

I didn't say anything sooner in the interest in keeping Rex's company motivated to move us back to Houston. It's still our first choice, I think, although now that we don't have a house there, Austin may be moving up.

Everything went pretty smoothly with the sale. They had an inspection, we only had to pay out about $140 bucks to have an A/C guy out and to replace some breakers in the fuse box. The real kicker was the closing, which was supposed to happen last Wednesday. I found out Wednesday morning, when I called the title company, that the buyers didn't have all their documents in to their lender. Then the lender had to send them to the title company, who had to do some things with them before they got sent out to us. I'm still not sure why no one (including our realtor!) bothered to fill us in on that little detail. We finally got the papers Friday evening, signed them in front of a signing service notary, at the added cost of $125, and sent them off Saturday. The buyers signed today, and the check for the balance is being overnighted.

I was thinking about it in the shower the other day, the amount of money we lost on the house. Between what we paid in the four and a half years we owned it, what we lost outright in the sale (mostly to goddamn commissions), and what we put into the house in improvements, we could have bought a car. A car nicer than the one Rex bought when we moved up here. A GODDAMN CAR, PEOPLE!

I'm not bitter.

Fuck that, I'm really bitter. But I'm going to recover.

And the worst part is that we're still trying to move back there. If we do move back, I'm really going to be pissed about selling the house and having to buy one basically up the street from the one we just sold. More on that at another date.

Posted by me at 9:25 PM | Comments (0)

December 4, 2005

Driving snow

Posted by me at 9:04 PM | Comments (0)

You can run but you can't hide

"Run for your lice!"

Posted by me at 6:12 PM | Comments (0)

Shut da door

Dad: Do you remember how to say 'I love you' in French?

Jamie: I love you in French!

Posted by me at 6:09 PM | Comments (0)

December 1, 2005

I can't believe I forgot to mention this one

Jamie has taken to referring to her father as "Clifford, the Big Red Dog."

Posted by me at 8:45 PM | Comments (0)

Our first attempt at this year's Christmas Card

Posted by me at 8:44 PM | Comments (0)

To the toilet, as she flushed

"Come back later, water!"

And then as the bowl refilled:

"You came back!"

Posted by me at 7:28 AM | Comments (0)