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November 30, 2005

There's way less barf, but it smells soo much worse

Katie's personality has taken a turn for the better. Sort of.

When we brought her home from the hospital, she was so easy. She slept lots, cried little, ate fine, if less vigorously than her older sister did. This lasted longer than it did with her sister, maybe close to a month. Then the reflux started, the barfing, the crying, the general unhappiness.

The last month or so has seen a marked improvement in the barfing and the unhappiness. It's also seen a lot of motor activity progression. Katie wants to move, but she's not quite capable. She wants to pull up on everything, but most things don't have handholds at the right level, so sometimes she gets stuck on her knees or with her legs twisted. That pisses her off. When she's sitting, she wants to move, so she rolls forward onto her tummy, but she hasn't mastered crawling just yet, so she's just stuck on her stomach. That makes her mad. When she's standing, she wants to be climbing or moving, but there isn't always anything to climb or handholds to move. That makes her angry. Any time I'm within range, she grabs my hair or my shirt, my bra or my pants, occasionally just a handful of skin, and one time my jugular. That ticks me off, particularly when it's painful.

She's a much happier kid, when she isn't peeved by her limitations. There's more yelling, but less crying. More screeching, but usually with comprehensible reasons. And sometimes, she's just downright happy. At the very least, you can make her smile by helping her stand, and sit, and stand, and sit.

Posted by me at 8:32 PM | Comments (0)

These trees remind me of an old married couple

They're like a metaphor for a great relationship. The trunks stand together. Half the branches are intertwined, showing the way the two become one family. The other half are growing in separate directions, developing their own interests, following their own passions.

I'm not usually so emotional about trees.

Posted by me at 11:07 AM | Comments (0)

November 29, 2005

And did I mention we started potty training?

Rex has been off work for a week.

Slowly, day by day, I've felt a lot of my tension and anger and stress melt away. I feel almost like me again. Apparently, I'd be a great SAHM if I had a second full time parent home with me.

Of course, sometimes it's hard to watch Jamie prefer Rex for everything. To in fact fight me, because she wants Daddy to do it. The hardest was when she fell on the sidewalk and turned to him to make it better. She still shows me affection, when she can take time out of her busy Daddy-adoration schedule. And Katie, well, she knows which body her boob is buttered on.

Rex goes back to work tomorrow.

Will the stress build up slowly, or will it hit me all at once when the girls wake up tomorrow? Does the fact that a week with another parent here relieved the stress mean that it's not depression? If the stress comes back fast, and this is just who I am, not a treatable condition, how am I going to make it through the next 18 years? Are the girls going to eat me alive?

Posted by me at 8:14 PM | Comments (0)

He was supposed to be watching her play in the sandbox, but she can't resist the power of the internet

Posted by me at 8:02 PM | Comments (0)

November 28, 2005

Rex calls this her glamour shot

Posted by me at 9:53 PM | Comments (0)

Well, I am my father's daughter

Yesterday, while we were walking from the car to Subway, I passed a grocery cart with a greeting card envelope in it. I paused, then picked up the envelope to see if it was unused, 'cause I'm cheap that way. Then I noticed the card that went with it in the bottom of the cart. Score!

When I was a kid, my grandparents took my brother and my cousin and I on a trip up to Wisconsin to visit family. We had one of those canvas roof storage things packed full.

My parents left for a trip later that same day. My dad is something of a scavenger, so when he saw a coat on the side of the road, they stopped to pick it up. It looked kind of familiar. Then they saw a shoe that looked a lot like my brother's, and things started to make sense. My parents picked up a number of pieces of our clothing as they traveled, although they never did find the match to my brother's shoe. My grandparents had forgotten to zip the roof carrier.

And I wore that roadkill coat for years, in spite of the tire track that permanently scarred the right arm.

Posted by me at 7:03 PM | Comments (0)

November 27, 2005

Bathtime!

Posted by me at 9:38 PM | Comments (0)

November 26, 2005

To my dad, as he was going out the door

"I assume I'll see you later?"

Posted by me at 9:46 PM | Comments (0)

Tis the season

We put up our Christmas tree today. I can't believe it's that time of year again already. I was editing some of my older posts on LiveJournal and I couldn't believe how much my daughter had changed, and how much my life has changed since we left Texas.

I still haven't figured out if the way I view my kids and my life now is a result of the climate, the living arrangements, the additional child or hormones. When I look at those old pictures, I think I was happier then, but was I really? Or is it just that I can't believe that I'm unhappy now?

I've recently become more entrenched in my life here. I had joined a couple clubs last year and this past summer, but I think I've only recently started feeling comfortable and a part of them. I'm really going to miss a lot of the women I've met in the last year, and the friendships I'ms starting to develop.

It's sad that I'm already pulling away in some ways, like not making plans too far in the future. Not accepting obligations that I'm not sure I'll be here to fulfill. And yet I don't really know when or where we're going.

Posted by me at 8:30 PM | Comments (0)

I haven't stepped foot out of the house in 2 days

Posted by me at 8:29 PM | Comments (0)

November 24, 2005

Happy White Thanksgiving!

Posted by me at 9:45 PM | Comments (0)

November 23, 2005

Thanking the fiber god

Posted by me at 9:11 PM | Comments (0)

November 22, 2005

I'm sure your father feels the same way

"I love your boobie. It's so nice and pink!"

Posted by me at 8:50 AM | Comments (0)

November 21, 2005

Why yes, yes I am

Verizon is laying just over a half mile of fiber to our house so we can have real broadband. They're doing this free to us. Verizon is my new best friend.

We took cookies up to the guys burying the fiber. "Mama, you're getting fiber. Now you're happy."

Posted by me at 9:37 PM | Comments (0)

I love a rainy night

Posted by me at 9:36 PM | Comments (0)

I'm still not sure if she was mad at us, or with us

A woman stopped me in the mall tonight to ask me if I had a farm. I've never actually been stopped for my Porky Pines Farm jacket before.

As soon as I responded yes, she started spouting off about some relative having a profitable 1,000 acre farm, and people picking on farmer's like that Lieutenant Denzel. She was dressed oddly, and wearing a Park Police hat. Halfway through her rant, she stopped talking and was walking off when she suddenly started up again. I actually jumped when she started talking again it was so sudden.

I've become sort of used to people stopping me to talk about my kids. It's embarassing, but at least it sort of makes sense. We were so stunned by what and how this woman was talking, we weren't even sure how to respond.

What the hell is up with people?

Posted by me at 8:58 PM | Comments (0)

November 19, 2005

Could it be any more phallic?

Posted by me at 10:04 PM | Comments (0)

I can't stand the smell of Downy

One of my cats has started peeing around the house again. I'm about 99% sure which one it is, and he's pushing my limits.

Bubba is 7 years old. I met him when he was left at the vet clinic I worked at in Austin. The first time he was brought in, the owner thought there was something funny going on with his front feet. She was right. Some kids had apparently put rubber bands around his front feet, and no one noticed. You know what your mother said about cutting off your circulation? She was right. Bubba's front feet were hard, dead shells. The vet sent her home, telling her to soak his feet in an antibacterial solution, and that the feet would fall off. She did, and one of his feet did. She was skeeved enough that she brought him back to the vet clinic, and Bubba became the second clinic mascot.

Bubba spent months living in the clinic. He spent his nights in a cage, but during the days he got tons of love and attention. His second foot fell off, and we treated his stumps with daily soakings. Not his favorite activity, but he seemed to take it from me better than any of the other techs. Over holidays, he came home with me and ran free with the herd of animals I was living with at the time.

Eventually, Bubba came to live with me full time. To this day, he prefers me to any other human in the world. It was probably more than 6 months before he did anything more than tolerate Rex.

Bubba has had a few urinary incidents in the past. A few minor adjustments to the way I keep house (Ha! That's a joke in itself!) like not leaving piles of clothing around, and keeping the dirty laundry in a closable hamper instead of a laundry basket on the floor, have pretty much solved our problems, until recently. He's been so well behaved that I've become lax. Laundry baskets no longer seemed to be an issue, so I've gone back to my old habit of keeping one for Rex and I, one for Jamie, and a third for Katie. In spite of the fact that our and Jamie's were kept on the floor, Bubba left them alone.

This week, he's peed in Jamie's basket twice, and on her bed once. The only thing that saved him tonight was the plastic cover that protected Jamie's mattress.

What do you do with a cat who dislikes everyone but you, has no front feet, and pees randomly?

Posted by me at 9:10 PM | Comments (0)

November 16, 2005

Miss Standy Pants

Posted by me at 3:27 PM | Comments (0)

November 15, 2005

And I used to think one kid was hard

Jamie is off with my dad for the night. A full 24 hours to recover from the hitting and arguing of right before she left.

She's surprisingly good at throwing phrases back in my face at appropriate times. Things like "No, that's MY 'pinion!" and "Not for disCUSsion!" and "Don't spank me!" All at the top of her lungs. Occassionally in public.

It really pushes my buttons.

So tonight, I just have to deal with the somewhat cranky baby. And tomorrow, I can nap into the morning, and I would, if I were the napping sort. And when Katie is sleeping, I'll be free to fuck off on the internet without feeling guilty about ignoring Jamie while I decompress.

Posted by me at 8:46 PM | Comments (0)

Beauty and the Beast, all in one tiny little package

Posted by me at 8:33 PM | Comments (0)

November 14, 2005

One of the few smiles I got all day

Posted by me at 9:31 PM | Comments (0)

Detachment

I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me. I was making dinner, and I looked down at Jamie, and it was like I hadn't seen her in a long time.

Jamie and I haven't had the best relationship lately. I seem to spend most of my time telling her not to do something. Or to stop crying. Or I'm busy with Katie. Or I'm still sleeping. Or she should be sleeping. On top of that, she's been argumentative and a crybaby and a general pill a lot of the time.

And I've been strangely detached.

I don't know if this is because of her mood or mine. It might be because I don't know how to interact with a 2 and a half year-old. I'm sure part of it is the adjustment of having Katie. And some of it is my addiction to the internet. Also, I've forgotten how to have fun. Add be fun.

People always talk about the joy they get from their children, from seeing them learn and grow, seeing old news through new eyes. I'm not getting that. Sure, sometimes she's funny, on purpose and by accident. But I get bored pushing her on the swings at the park. And walking her up to the slides. I don't want to play silly games, and I'm tired of coloring. Thank god her imagination is taking over and she's starting to amuse herself, because I'm going nuts.

I don't seem to have the same issues with Katie. Maybe because her needs are different, more "chores" and fewer games. Her crying still bothers me most of the time, although every now and then I seem to be able to sort of hear it from a distance. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

Is this a phase? Are she and I just butting heads? Am I depressed and need therapy or meds? I wish I knew. I don't want to irreparably damage my relationship with my daughter before we really get started.

Posted by me at 9:28 PM | Comments (0)

November 13, 2005

She's recently become obsessed with this song

"Baa baa black sheep, have you any mold"

Posted by me at 4:08 PM | Comments (0)

November 12, 2005

Bowling

I win the first game.

Then he kicks my ass.

Then he bends me over to do it again.

"It's all my schoolin', baby."

"Fine. Then I'm going to inseminate a cow on the way home."

Posted by me at 10:14 PM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2005

I don't think she had any idea why we were there

Posted by me at 9:47 PM | Comments (0)

I've got to start watching my mouth, or she's going to grow up and buy American

"Jesus Chrysler!"

Posted by me at 7:42 AM | Comments (0)

November 10, 2005

Old MacDonald had a farm...

Posted by me at 3:47 PM | Comments (0)

November 9, 2005

Yuk. Prune flavored croutons?

"I want some more prune-tons"

They were really good homemade croutons, if I must say so myself!

Posted by me at 10:06 PM | Comments (0)

She was riding me like a cowgirl

Posted by me at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)

November 8, 2005

Another new category, also not my idea

I belong to a group called the Damascus Y-Women. It's a service/social/charitable women's group that meets weekly to raise money, give money away, talk, craft, listen to speakers, etc. We did a craft today called a journal jar. I now have a mason jar filled with topics and questions to jumpstart my posting. When I have trouble coming up with things to say, I'm going to pull a little slip of paper out of a jar, and write about what it tells me to.

Hence I bring you...The Journal Jar!

Posted by me at 5:44 PM | Comments (0)

November 7, 2005

She's starting to sound like my grandmother

"My, my, Mama" - I'm still not sure what she was talking about, or where she got the expression.

And the other evening when we were leaving my mother's house, she told everyone, "It was nice to see you all." She's so damn polite, and I don't know where she got it from!

Posted by me at 10:55 PM | Comments (0)

It's my 100th post, and this is all I have time to give

Posted by me at 10:53 PM | Comments (0)

November 3, 2005

Are they born knowing about Halloween?

At playgroup today, I was talking with the other moms about potty training. (Hey, it playgroup. What do you thing we talk about?) I mentioned that I'm not above bribery, and that our treat of choice is M&M's. Their instantaneous, small enough that I don't mind giving them to her numerous times a day, if she's going to put out for the potty and it gives me an excuse to buy bags of candy that I would normally avoid like the plague. Another woman mentioned Chuck E Cheese as her potential reward (she has yet to need it). Jamie overheard, and started throwing basketballs through the hoop, yelling "Treet or Trees!" after each throw.

The true irony here is that we didn't go Trick-or-Treating this year, and I never mentioned what she was missing, but she still managed to come up with a similar phrase on her own.

Posted by me at 9:43 PM | Comments (0)

All of my best ideas aren't even mine

I think I want to steal another good idea. The first was for a (somewhat) daily picture category, which isn't exactly a unique idea, but I might not have made one if I hadn't seen it on dooce first. I liked the idea because it's motivation to log into this site and post something every day, which hopefully translates into more non-picture posts, and it's also motivation to try to take some pictures aside from those I take to document my kid's lives. Lord knows I need a hobby.

The other idea is Mommy Matter's "quip du jour," a place the author records funny things her kids say during the day. I try to record some of the funnier things Jamie has said, but I'm already forgetting some of the cute things she screwed up. Some of them are common to a lot of kids when they start to talk, and some are specific to my kid.

In light of my own lack of creativity, and the convenient-for-my-purposes phrase, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," I bring you the Daily Dose of Jamie!

Posted by me at 8:56 PM | Comments (0)

In person, it was almost beautiful enough to make me want to stay

Posted by me at 8:20 PM | Comments (0)

Tidbits

How ghetto is it to feed your kid a jar of baby food while waiting in the checkout line at Sam's Club?

Is it more or less ghetto that seeing a used breast pad on the floor, grabbing your boob, and realizing that it's the one that's supposed to be in your bra?

Posted by me at 7:12 PM | Comments (0)

November 2, 2005

Fleecy the Bunny

Posted by me at 9:42 PM | Comments (0)

November 1, 2005

It's like all my problems are going to be solved

I'm giddy. Exuberant. Euphoric.

And it's not even hooked up yet.

We got a notice from Verizon a couple weeks ago saying that we were able to get their FiOS service at our address. Fiber, baby! I ordered service online, and set up an installation appointment for today. I fully expected for them to notify me in the meantime that we were too far away from the main road for them to run service. I figured when they did the preliminary install of fiber from the pole to our house, they would balk at the half mile of digging. The other option was running it across the fields over the phone lines. I didn't figure they'd go for that either.

Our appointment today was between 8 and 5. Nice window for them. We were about dying since they didn't get here til 4! We spoke to the techs for a while about how the phone lines came in across the field, if digging would be an issue. The one tech (with the be-yoo-tee-ful blue eyes and dark hair) said that he would look at where the lines were and call his supervisor, but it would probably be at least several weeks or a month before we got service, unless they decided we just weren't worth it at all.

They checked out what they needed to check out. They came back and said the contractors should be out by the end of the week to bury the fiber. Early next week at the latest. Then the installers will come back and do an hour or so's worth of work and we'll be set. SET I TELL YOU!

I am, quite possibly, a mere 1-2 weeks away from faster, more reliable cheaper broadband. I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!

Posted by me at 8:54 PM | Comments (0)

Costumey goodness

Posted by me at 8:31 PM | Comments (0)