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September 7, 2005
Do we dare roll the dice?
I have a dilemma.
It's not something that needs to be decided today, but I have my reasons for wanting to make it sooner rather than later.
My dilemma is this: are we going to have a third kid?
My reasons for wanting to make the decision now? Stuff, stuff and more stuff. have I mentioned all the stuff I could get rid of if I was sure I didn't want another?
My husband says no, for a number of reasons. I was not a fun pregnant woman during my second pregnancy. I haven't been a particularly fun person that last 4 months. He wants more sex than the children currently allow.
I'm not sure if I want a third kid, but I'm not ready to say that I don't. On the one hand, the screaming is starting to get to me. The two-year-old screams and cries about everything. I mean everything, regardless of weather the situation warrants it. The baby has been having some issues lately, too. I think she used to have some mild colic, but now someone stabs her to death several times during the day. She's quite happy when she's not releasing the demons of hell upon my ears. There are an awful lot of days I go to bed thinking I'm just not cut out for this parenting thing.
But then I see my friend, a woman I've know since I was 11. She has three kids, almost 6, almost 4 and 7 months. I see her older kids playing together. I see her getting to spend time with her third kid as a baby, and getting to enjoy it. She has the knowledge to not be freaked out by the whole baby thing, but she isn't bogged down trying to entertain an older kid whose come to see her as his only playmate. Sure, parts of her life are hectic, taking the older kids to school, preschool and activities, and the baby has had to learn to sleep on the run, but even she will admit that she's enjoying this baby as a baby much more than she did the first two.
Back to the first hand. My first pregnancy was relatively easy, I was healthy, my daughter was and is healthy, and my body escaped unscathed. My second pregnancy was emotionally draining but physically uneventful. My second daughter was and is healthy, and aside from being a bit softer, my body is still close to the same. It seems that a third would be tempting fate. The terrifying consequences - genetic defects, high risk pregnancy and birth, stretch marks or the most frightening, multiples - are almost too much to comtemplate.
I wrote most of this post a couple days ago. I still haven't made a decision on the third kid yet, but I think I've decided to go through the things that we are done with up to this point. I'm sure there must be hurricane victims that can use this stuff right now, and that's more important right now than holding onto it on the off chance we'll have another kid.
Posted by me at September 7, 2005 3:02 PM