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September 5, 2005
Dare to compare - Advantage Texas
We visited my cousin and his family over Labor Day. I saw their house for the first time about 2 weeks ago, and have been raving about it ever since. It's big. It's beautiful. It's uncluttered and basically new and did I mention it's big?
And the hardwood floors. I'd give up my firstborn for them. Well, maybe just a cat or two, but still.
I'm envious. Jealous, even. Not so much of their specific house, although I'd love to have it. I'm jealous of the feeling I have when I'm in that open space. I realized while I was there that the space we're currently living in really affecting the way I live. And the way I feel. It's not just cramped and crappy, it's not mine. Not mine to decorate. Not mine to fix up. And although my father would certainly let me do those things, I don't intend to be living in this house long enough to want to make it a cozy home for us and then have to leave it.
I hate the way this place makes me feel. I hate that I don't have a cute nursery for my baby, and my two-year-old didn't get big girl furniture on her birthday like I had planned. Rex and I would like a king-sized bed, but it won't fit. Hell, I'd like to get an exersaucer for Katie, but I don't have room for that either.
I know a lot of these are superficial things compared to what others in the world are going through. I should be thankful for what I do have. And I am. But I have all these things in Texas already, and it pisses me off that I can't do anything with them.
Advantage - Texas
Posted by me at September 5, 2005 9:41 PM