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September 30, 2005

Tidbits

Jamie kept asking me to watch Blue this morning, and I kept saying no, it's not time yet.

To which she replied, "Stop answering no, Mama."

How do you answer that?

Posted by me at 10:29 PM | Comments (0)

I wish it were Spring again

Posted by me at 10:27 PM | Comments (0)

September 28, 2005

We're back from the clusterfuck known as Rita

From the trip that should not have been.

Against my intuition (dammit, I need to start listening to Oprah), we went ahead and left on Wednesday for Houston. It took us 3 hours to get from the airport to my in-law's house. It should have taken 30-45 minutes. The kids were good on the plane, but Katie was a screaming mess in the car. I broke the law more times this last week than ever before in my life, taking her out of the carseat for comfort or to nurse while we were on the road. I only took her out when we were in stop-and-go traffic, or just stopped, but a fender bender wouldn't have been great either.

We skipped town on Thursday, moving up our planned trip to Dallas to visit friends. It took us 8 hours to get there, about twice what it should have, but we were lucky. We didn't even need to stop for gas, fortunate since there wasn't much of it. We did stop a couple times for the kids, once for ice cream and again for dinner. They were remarkably good on their second long day of travel.

We stayed with friends until Sunday. They have a 3.5 year old daughter and a son 5 days younger than Katie. Jamie amazed us by sticking to G like glue. The two of them would just head up to the playroom for hours, and never really had any issues for which we had to intervene. I've noticed that Jamie is a bit of a sheep around other kids. I guess that's not a big deal, since most of the world needs to follow, but I worry she'll be a lemming jumping off a cliff someday. At home, I can't get Jamie to stay in any other room in this tiny little house. It's only recently she'll let me pee in peace.

We took bunches of bad pictures of our younger kids together. Katie and G2 are 5 days apart in age, and 5 pounds apart in weight (same height). Holding the two of them was an experience. G2 is so solid! Katie is such a wirey little thing, and so strong, and G2 is more like holding a weighted stuffed animal. He's much more low-key, too.

I played a little with R's dSLR and zoom lens, and now I want to move up my "new camera timetable" by about 10 years. I really liked the way the candid photos turned out with that zoom lens. I like being able to control the focus a bit better, too.

On Sunday, we headed back to the fizzled hurricane site. It only took about 6 hours this time. We didn't see much besides a couple downed trees, some larger limbs, and a lot of leaves and such. Otherwise, it was a beautiful sunny day.

The in-law's place was powerless, so we stayed at Rex's grandparent's house for the last two nights. We managed to see our unsold house, resign for 6 more months with our realtor, and visit with some close friends from the neighborhood at their new digs.

We never did get to see Rex's mother, through no fault of ours. The whole trip ended up being a logistical nightmare with some nice, relaxing time visiting friends in Dallas. I still can't say if it was a success or not, but I do know that I need a vacation from my vacation!

Posted by me at 9:31 PM | Comments (0)

Escaping Rita

Posted by me at 9:26 PM | Comments (0)

September 20, 2005

Leavin' on a jet plane

We're heading to Texas tomorrow for almost s week to visit family and friends. We haven't been back in almost exactly one year.

I'm looking forward to the trip, but not to the crap that goes along with being a parent on a vacation. After all, it's not much of a vacation to chase your kids around someone else's house :) I already pity the people who are going to be on the airplane with us. Jamie has generally been pretty good every other time she was on a plane, even when she was younger and hard to keep entertained. Katie, on the other hand, is not known for her easy travelin' nature. And she's got a damn fine lung/vocal cord combo.

I'm also anxious to see how I feel when we're back in Texas. I'm anticipating a feeling of homecoming that for some reason I haven't experienced here in Maryland. Since we've just about made our decision, I'm hoping for that feeling.

Ah, well. It's going to be what it's going to be!

Posted by me at 1:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 19, 2005

It's all about the benjamins, baby

We sold my old treadmill tonight. We all went out to load it into a Jeep Cherokee. I stood holding Katie, keeping an eye on Jamie to make sure she didn't get squished while the menfolk did their business. Jamie started crying as soon as they picked it up and started shoving it into the Jeep.

She stopped as soon as Rex handed her the pile of 20 dollar bills we got for it.

Posted by me at 8:59 PM | Comments (0)

Rex, in the Good New Days

Posted by me at 8:57 PM | Comments (2)

September 18, 2005

Death by cleaning

There's a reason I don't clean as often as I should. Today, I nearly killed myself with Clorox Clean-Up. I shut the door to the tiny bathroom so I could clean the hair that builds up behind the door, and didn't really think to reopen it, since the smell wasn't that strong. I started to smell something funny, and went to the living room to see what was going on. It smelled like burning plastic or something noxious like that.

My husband couldn't smell it, but it was so strong, I started sniffing around the house. I opened the oven to see if I could smell the cloved ham. I opened the door to see if I could smell the freshly mowed grass. Nothing but the noxious smell. I even tried eating a couple things, and my sense of taste was fucked up, too.

Fortunately, it faded within a couple hours. I'm still not sure why it affected me so much, but I can assue you I'll be taking better care of myself from now on. No more cleaning!

Posted by me at 8:54 PM | Comments (0)

Rex, back in the Good Old Days

Posted by me at 3:52 PM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2005

So different, and yet the same

Best guess is that this was taken in the fall of '98.

Posted by me at 9:45 AM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2005

Can you find the head?

Posted by me at 3:19 PM | Comments (0)

Too good to be true

It was too much to ask.

Katie went down for a nap while Jamie was watching her pre-nap Blue's Clues. The fact that things were going well pretty much guaranteed Jamie wasn't going to do much sleeping during her "nap".

When I put Jamie in bed, she was rolling and wiggling and kicking and talking and banging on the wall. Not good signs. I left, pulling the door shut behind me and there was no screaming. Didn't hear much when I went back to the living room. At this point, I turned the tv on, so she may have been talking to her buddies but I couldn't hear it. This is not a problem, sometimes it leads to sleep, sometimes not, but at least it buys me an hour of peace.

Then I heard a crash. More like a thump or a bang.

Then the baby started making noise.

I got Katie out of the crib, and opened Jamie's door. There she was, standing at the end of her bed, and as soon as she saw me she started crying. I asked her what happened, and she said she fell. Then I asked her if she had been jumping on the bed, and she said yes. (This is sometimes misleading. Sometimes she says what youwant to hear.) I stuffed her back in bed, kissed her ouchie, haven't heard a peep since.

Even better, the baby allowed me to nurse her back to sleep!

Posted by me at 2:37 PM | Comments (0)

Tidbits

This site makes me kind of wet.

It's the drool pouring down my shirt!

Posted by me at 2:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 15, 2005

How can you resist?

Posted by me at 5:04 PM | Comments (0)

I have a secret...

Jamie loves to help with her baby sister. She's shown no real anger or jealousy towards Katie, although she wants to do all the things Katie does. Katie gets tummy time? Jamie has to have some. Katie's in the Boppy? Jamie wants her turn! We recently brought the highchair into the house, and Jamie was obsessed with it for about a week.

One of the cutest and most annoying things she does is help change Katie's diapers. She wants to do one of the tabs. She starts throwing a fit as soon as you lay Katie down, as if I've said she can't do it. I want her to be involved with her sister and help out, so I almost always let her do the damn tab. It's annoying only because I could be done so much faster if I did it.

So sometimes, when Jamie is in another room and occupied, I change Katie's diaper all by myself.

Posted by me at 1:32 PM | Comments (0)

September 14, 2005

Hit Me Baby

Britney Spears had a baby boy today by c-section. From previous reports, this was a planned c-section. Apparently her mother told her bad stories about labor.

What a freakin' cop-out! It's one thing to schedule a c-section if you've had a previous section or have other medical issues, but to get one because you're afraid of the pain? Childbirth is nothing compared to parenting! And besides, that's what they have epidurals for.

I'm a firm believer in at least giving something a try before you take the easy road. I copped out and got epidurals with both my kids, but I tried to go without first. I'm not a glutton for pain, and I didn't get my piercings because I enjoyed the feeling, but labor is usually something that starts slow and gives you time to change your mind and get medicated one way or another.

This might sound like I'm jealous that she got out of the pain of labor, but I'm not. Frankly, I'm not sure a c-section recovery is any better than labor and delivery recovery. And while the pain I experienced was real and strong, the memory of it has been reduced to minor discomfort compared to the pain in my ears from my two screaming offspring.

Posted by me at 9:23 PM | Comments (0)

Tummy Time

My maternal grandfather with Katie.

Posted by me at 9:18 PM | Comments (0)

September 13, 2005

The upside to 3:30am

I love when I'm taking my baby back to bed in the middle of the night, and I grab her under the arms to hoist her up to my shoulder. Then when I put my arms under her butt and around her back, her arms naturally fall around my neck. I know she doesn't know how to reach out and hug me yet, but that sure feels like love.

Posted by me at 9:05 PM | Comments (0)

Flower Power

Posted by me at 9:02 PM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2005

Ice ice baby

This evening, I experienced not just one of those ya gotta laugh moments, but two.

Rex was on a conference call back in the bedroom. He didn't actually have to talk, but he was trying to listen, so I tried to keep the kids out of his hair. I handed him Katie during the first potty emergency. Then I took the kids into the living room, and got them both into their pj's. Katie must have been exhausted, because she started her nothings-gonna-shut-me-up-but-a-boob screeching. I started nursing her, and wave two hit. I could have handed her off to Rex again, but I knew she'd scream like a banshee and he wouldn't be able to hear a thing, so I took her to the bathroom with me. This isn't the first time I've taken her in with me, but it is the first time I breastfed while taking a dump.

That ignominity over, I got Jamie the cup of ice water she had been asking for and herded her back to the living room. I settled onto the couch and switched Katie to the other side to prepare for my poetic reading of Bambi. That's when Jamie dumped her cup of ice water. On the couch. In my crotch.

It took a while for the cold to soak through, but by this time, Katie was nearly out cold. I couldn't shriek, I couldn't jump up and run, I couldn't do anything but pick the ice cubes out from under my butt and toss them into the kitchen for the cat to chase.

Posted by me at 9:37 PM | Comments (0)

The wheels on the bus go round and round...

Posted by me at 3:04 PM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2005

I peed on Jesus

Jamie has this foam bath book with foam characters that stick in the book or walls of the shower when you get them wet. The book is stories of the Bible, and the characters go along with the stories. We're not particularly religious (by not particularly, I mean we're atheists. It's not something we generally broadcast, because when people hear "atheist" they seem think that means anti-God instead of un-God. Back to the story.), but Jamie likes to play with them, and we have nothing against them.

We've been having to shower in the tub that the kids use for the last couple days. The pipe to the cold water in our shower has a leak. We store the foam characters just stuck to the side of the tub where they can dry but stay stuck. When we shower in there, the water runs down the side of the tub and the characters slowly slide down the wall til they hit the bottom, and then they cover the drain and plug it up.

Posted by me at 9:23 PM | Comments (0)

I Just Like That Word, Impotent

Posted by me at 9:16 PM | Comments (0)

September 10, 2005

Just Plain Impotent

Posted by me at 10:58 PM | Comments (0)

September 9, 2005

Living space

We're living in Maryland. With my dad.

This is both better and worse than it sounds. Better because my dad and I have always had an uncommonly close and easygoing relationship. Worse because we've put 5000 square feet of stuff into a 2400 square foot house. That's 3 adults, 2 kids and 3 cats, if you're counting.

The company doesn't bother me much, but the accomodations are slowly driving me insane. This house has seen better days. There are a lot of things that need to be fixed up, replaced or remodeled. The laminate on the kitchen counters is not attached. The wood around the front and back door frames is rotted out. The carpet in the living room is 15 years old, and it was the cheapest you could buy back then.

On top of that, my dad had planned to put on an addition. One that increased the size of the house by half again it's original size, and included a garage to boot. We moved up here a year ago, the addition was started soon after. Then the contractor turned looney. And I mean looney. Construction was halted before it began, although a large hole was dug in the front yard under the front door, the front door was screwed shut, and a doorway was cut in the original foundation to connect it to the new section. That's where things stopped.

Outside, I'm surrounded by 100 acres of beautiful fields, trees and forest. We have horses, hay to play in, trails to walk, deer to watch and a creek to wade in.

This should be an inconvenient house surrounded by a wonderous playland. But it feels more like a beautiful lonely cage.

Posted by me at 2:53 PM | Comments (0)

Impotent Huntress

Posted by me at 2:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 8, 2005

Tidbits

Fall has screwed up my daytime tv schedule. Instead of a decent and somewhat enjoyable Home Improvement, Dharma & Greg and Spin City, I get an hour of A Different World followed by an hour of Cosby. Cosby wouldn't be an issue, but Dr. Phil's incest isn't even appropriate for my 4 month old.

Posted by me at 3:56 PM | Comments (0)

Around here, he's known as "Elph Net"

Posted by me at 7:54 AM | Comments (0)

September 7, 2005

You finally put me in the highchair, and then you make me eat it?

Posted by me at 9:58 PM | Comments (0)

Do we dare roll the dice?

I have a dilemma.

It's not something that needs to be decided today, but I have my reasons for wanting to make it sooner rather than later.

My dilemma is this: are we going to have a third kid?

My reasons for wanting to make the decision now? Stuff, stuff and more stuff. have I mentioned all the stuff I could get rid of if I was sure I didn't want another?

My husband says no, for a number of reasons. I was not a fun pregnant woman during my second pregnancy. I haven't been a particularly fun person that last 4 months. He wants more sex than the children currently allow.

I'm not sure if I want a third kid, but I'm not ready to say that I don't. On the one hand, the screaming is starting to get to me. The two-year-old screams and cries about everything. I mean everything, regardless of weather the situation warrants it. The baby has been having some issues lately, too. I think she used to have some mild colic, but now someone stabs her to death several times during the day. She's quite happy when she's not releasing the demons of hell upon my ears. There are an awful lot of days I go to bed thinking I'm just not cut out for this parenting thing.

But then I see my friend, a woman I've know since I was 11. She has three kids, almost 6, almost 4 and 7 months. I see her older kids playing together. I see her getting to spend time with her third kid as a baby, and getting to enjoy it. She has the knowledge to not be freaked out by the whole baby thing, but she isn't bogged down trying to entertain an older kid whose come to see her as his only playmate. Sure, parts of her life are hectic, taking the older kids to school, preschool and activities, and the baby has had to learn to sleep on the run, but even she will admit that she's enjoying this baby as a baby much more than she did the first two.

Back to the first hand. My first pregnancy was relatively easy, I was healthy, my daughter was and is healthy, and my body escaped unscathed. My second pregnancy was emotionally draining but physically uneventful. My second daughter was and is healthy, and aside from being a bit softer, my body is still close to the same. It seems that a third would be tempting fate. The terrifying consequences - genetic defects, high risk pregnancy and birth, stretch marks or the most frightening, multiples - are almost too much to comtemplate.

*************

I wrote most of this post a couple days ago. I still haven't made a decision on the third kid yet, but I think I've decided to go through the things that we are done with up to this point. I'm sure there must be hurricane victims that can use this stuff right now, and that's more important right now than holding onto it on the off chance we'll have another kid.

Posted by me at 3:02 PM | Comments (0)

September 5, 2005

Days of summer

Posted by me at 10:07 PM | Comments (0)

Dare to compare - Advantage Texas

We visited my cousin and his family over Labor Day. I saw their house for the first time about 2 weeks ago, and have been raving about it ever since. It's big. It's beautiful. It's uncluttered and basically new and did I mention it's big?

And the hardwood floors. I'd give up my firstborn for them. Well, maybe just a cat or two, but still.

I'm envious. Jealous, even. Not so much of their specific house, although I'd love to have it. I'm jealous of the feeling I have when I'm in that open space. I realized while I was there that the space we're currently living in really affecting the way I live. And the way I feel. It's not just cramped and crappy, it's not mine. Not mine to decorate. Not mine to fix up. And although my father would certainly let me do those things, I don't intend to be living in this house long enough to want to make it a cozy home for us and then have to leave it.

I hate the way this place makes me feel. I hate that I don't have a cute nursery for my baby, and my two-year-old didn't get big girl furniture on her birthday like I had planned. Rex and I would like a king-sized bed, but it won't fit. Hell, I'd like to get an exersaucer for Katie, but I don't have room for that either.

I know a lot of these are superficial things compared to what others in the world are going through. I should be thankful for what I do have. And I am. But I have all these things in Texas already, and it pisses me off that I can't do anything with them.

Advantage - Texas

Posted by me at 9:41 PM | Comments (0)

September 3, 2005

Picture Perfect

Obviously, not all the pictures I've posted have been from the day I put them up. I pretty much do take pictures every day, but they aren't always worth showing the world. The ones I took today were for a contest to have one of the kids rooms redone, and frankly, I'm kind of ashamed of the way we live. Sometimes you don't see how bad things are until you see them through the eyes of outsiders.

There isn't a whole lot I can do to make things better right now. But that's a whole 'nother story.

Posted by me at 9:29 PM | Comments (0)

Superstah!

My younger daughter is a yacker. I suspect she is my punishment for my first child's pristine shirtfronts. Katie can puke up an entire meal, and as soon as you get that cleaned up, she gives you some more. And then a little bit more, just so you don't get complacent with the spit rag. The longer she keeps it, the worse it smells.

My husband and I were sitting on the couch, watching Katie repeatedly empty the contents of her stomach on the floor, the couch, her clothes and my hand. I sniffed my hand and then jerked back at the stench.

Somehow he was laughing at me as he looked at me like I was crazy, which no doubt I am.

"I feel compelled to sniff it. Like when you sniff your armpits or put your finger up your butt and sniff it. I can't help it!"

"That doesn't smell as bad."

"The milk?"

"No, my butt."

"You'd rather sniff your butt than yak?"

"Yes."

He never once denied that he sniffs his butt, though.

Posted by me at 3:45 PM | Comments (0)

September 2, 2005

Airplane!

Posted by me at 9:10 PM | Comments (0)

September 1, 2005

Baby Crack

Posted by me at 5:02 PM | Comments (0)

Wanna buy a house?

No, really. Wanna buy it?

We have this house. This big, beautiful can't-convince-anyone-to-buy-it house. In Texas.

Have I mentioned we live in Maryland? And that in two weeks we'll have been here for a year?

We've had a lot of showings, and one lowball offer. In the beginning, no one said much about the paint colors. (I should note that I hate white. Beige is the new white. I didn't have any purple rooms, but I didn't shy away from color either. And I'll give them the kitchen. We painted right before we found out we were moving, and even I kinda wanted to repaint it when it was done.) Lately, everyone likes to rag on the colors. They can't see what a nice house it is because of the colors. Ask for a painting allowance, for god's sake! I'm willing to paint the damn house back to beige for you! I'm not bitter. No, I'm not.

We're at the point where we don't know what to do. It seems unlikely that we'll be able to sell the house for anything less than a huge loss. Like, tens of thousands huge.

And this is just one of the big issues in the debate: Maryland or Texas?

Posted by me at 3:03 PM | Comments (0)